


City of Angels

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Absent Parents, Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Band Fic, Bobby is Everyone's Dad, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Cas writes songs and poems about Dean, College, Dean writes songs about cas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Stargazing, Young Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:15:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24435718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Castiel Novak is finally in his last year of high school. Soon enough he can leave this town behind and head for college; but he might have one problem. Since the fifth grade castiel has had a massive crush on his best friend Dean winchester. Doesn't help that the two are devoted to a band made up of Dean, his younger brother Sam and Cas's cousin Gabe. The four of them have been each others closest friends since forever and none of them are ready to let go. As Cas and dean cling onto the band in their last year, they find each other, but the world slowly falls apart around them.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Gilda, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Jody Mills/Bobby Singer, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. Pining Over Those Emerald Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so this is my first work on this site and I am nt the most knowledgeable of rock band instruments other than the basic instruments so if there is anything sticking out to you thats wrong please let me know I am open to learn more!  
> Also I'm very new to writing fics and posting them so please be kind and paitent as I learn more about all this. I really hope you all enjoy!

Castiel absentmindedly strummed at his bass strings. Gabe and Sam were bickering over which song to play next, as always. Gabe insisted on playing Heat of the Moment by Asia and Sam was very opposed to the idea.

“Dude, we play that song every goddamn time, I’m so sick of it.”

“Come on Samsquanch, it's my favorite.” Gabe pleaded, flashing a cartoonish pouty face. The two kept going back and forth for another minute or too until Dean interjected.

“Would you two stop fighting and just decide on something already!” Dean snapped, pinching at the bridge of his nose. 

Sam and Gabe stared at Dean, both of them eyes a bit wide staring in silence. This is the way practice usually goes. They all meet up at Harvelle’s Roadhouse before venturing to Uncle Bobby’s place for a few hours of practice. Usually they start with some classic rock songs from Dean’s extensive list, then onto originals. Each of them usually has some new lyrics or melody they want to use in a new song so the majority of their time is spent working on songs. Then before they pack up and leave Gabe and Sam bicker over what their last song should be for the practice, Dean yells at them and ends up picking the song instead. 

“Cas you got any suggestions for our closing song?” 

“Hm?” Cas replied, snapping out of his daze. Dean’s sparkling green eyes stared at Cas, waiting for a response. 

“Oh uh, I like playing the bass line of Heartbreaker.”

“Perfect, one we don’t play everyday.” Sam responded smugly, eyeing Gabe in the process. 

The four of them respectively took their spot at their instruments. Gabe sat back onto his stool behind his elaborate drum set and Sam picked up his guitar from the stand and Dean leaned onto his mic. 

“I’m gonna take rhythm on this.” Sam remarks and Dean nods in response. Once everyone is set Dean starts strumming on his guitar the first few notes of the song. Soon enough Gabe and Cas joined in and then Sam. As the song kept building Dean sang the lyrics into the mic. Castiel watched his every movement, the way his fingers flew over the strings of his guitar, the way his voice sounded as they belted lyrics, the way he bobbed his head back and forth to the tempo, the way he bit his lower lip in concentration before he finished the solo. As the song came Dean strummed the last note on his guitar and threw his head back with a smile spreading across his face. Cas couldn’t help but smile at the stupid grin spread across the other boys face.  
“WOOOO,” Dean yelled, high-fiving Gabe and Sam. The four boys packed up all their instruments and made their way upstairs out of the security of Uncle Bobby’s basement. 

“You idjits already done with practice?” Bobby asks us as they enter his living room. 

“Yeah, Dad got pissed last time we came home late so we started cutting practices a bit short.” Dean replied, a small hint of...fear behind his eyes.

“Well you kids better stay safe. Any of you need a ride home?” 

“Nah, I’ve got baby and Gabe’s taking Cas home in that scooby doo van of his.”

“Well, my doors are always open for ya kids.” Bobby said, waving goodbye as we left his home. 

Just before Cas was about to load into Gabe’s van, Dean caught his attention, “Hey Cas.” He called. 

“Yeah?”

“Did you hear anything from UCLA?”

“Uh, no, not yet.” Cas replied, ringing his hands on the strap of his bass case, “I’m really nervous about it actually, the anticipation is really killing me.”

“Well shit Cas, I didn’t mean to worry you about it.” Dean flushes, instinctively rubbing the back of his neck. 

“It’s fine Dean.”

“Anyway I bet you’ll get in, they’d be dumb not to have you.”

“Heh, thanks.” Cas blushed, looking down to his dirtied white converse. 

“Anyway, you gotta tell me when you hear from them.” Dean smiled, jogging backwards in the direction of his car. His twinkling green eyes, shining in the low light of Bobby’s front porch. Cas could feel his cheeks flush deeper watching Dean smile at him. Not paying attention to where he was going, Dean knocked himself into his car, dropping his keys onto the ground. Cas giggled watching this beautiful boy clammor his way into the sleek black car. Cas finally loaded into the Scooby Doo van once Dean’s car is out of sight. He sat into the passenger seat, buckled up, then slammed his head down onto the dashboard in front of him.

“Uuuuuggggggghhhhhh” Cas groaned as Gabe loaded in next to him. 

“Getting that bad is it?” His younger cousin asked. 

“Shut up.” 

“Hey, I just asked a question.” Gabe replied, throwing his hands up in defense, “But dude, it’s been eight years of pining why don’t you just tell him already.”  
“Gabe” Castiel warns, “I just- I can’t ok, so just drive us home.” 

Gabe complies and the two of them head off to their homes. 

<<>><<>><<>><<>>

The sound of the front door closing echoes through the empty halls of this mini mansion of a house. Cas neatly places his bag on the hook closest to the door and makes his way to the pristine kitchen. Everything in this house is completely clean, not one speck of dust could ever be found. Castiel remembers the first time he spilled soup on the floor and the endless amount of yelling he received in response. Sticking out in the dull kitchen was a bright yellow post-it note on the silver fridge. 

_Your father is staying in Chicago another week, I left for Austin this afternoon and won’t be back until Sunday. There’s pre-made meals for you in the fridge and if you need anything call Hannah_

Hannah left for college two years ago. Lucky for Cas’s sake she didn’t go too far. Hannah and Cas have always been there for each other. Their dad and mom are always working; Dad is constantly gone on business trips and Mom locked in her office 24/7. The two of them were often on their own, spending hours alone in the large house, doing exactly as their parents told them to. Castiel walked through the hollow halls of his home, glancing at the array of perfectly placed school photos of perfectly neat and behaved children. Ever since Cas was a kid he had no problem with following the extensive rules his parents had for him; most of which were about how to behave in school and at home, some were about how he dressed and acted. He and Hannah never really questioned their rules, up until Castiel met a lovely little boy called Dean Winchester. Dean opened up his eyes to things like rock music and huge parties of his peers doing some not so legal things. Castiel never really went too far off the deep end, the extent to his rule breaking was lying about spending the night at Gabe’s when instead he was going to a new gig the band had gotten. 

The cool blue color of his room enveloped Cas as he entered. His window was open, letting in the cool breeze of an autumn night, the dark blue curtains swirling with the dance of the wind. The soft breeze swept over his skin as he swiftly got changed and laid down in his empty bed. 

Castiel stares into the blank ceiling of his room, unable to sleep. His mind flashes of memories; mostly of Dean. He’ll never forget how they first met. It was third grade. Cas was new at school and because his parents cursed him with having the weirdest name, the other kids took quick to bully him. Luckily, the little Dean Winchester stepped up and fought off the ruthless nine year olds. Cas remembers being afraid Dean would join in but happily surprised when he threw a punch at the little bastard. Cas smiles at the thought of little Dean beating up kids for him.

Around eight grade Cas figured out he was gay. He had always kind of known, but never really came around to really understanding and accepting himself till then.

It all started in fifth grade when he and dean were up in ungodly hours of the morning, cramming down gallons of ice cream and soda. The lights were all off except for the glow from the old boxy t-v in Uncle Bobby’s basement. Cas remembers lying down next to Dean, wrapped in piles of blankets on a mountain of pillows inside the small fort they made.  
“Hey Cas,” Dean started, turning so he could face his best friend, “I like you.”

Cas’s eyes went wide in shock, his face blushing a deep deep red. 

“You and I are gonna be together forever.” 

“Uh, you really think?” 

“Well, duh.” Dean replied. Suddenly he shot up from his position turning to Cas, “Hey, let's make a pact.”

Cas nodded a bit shyly, his face becoming hot and red with blush.

“We better be best friends when we’re, oh I don’t know, 80?”

“What about after that?” Cas joked, a small smile forming on his face.

“Uh- fine then, we better be best friends beyond the grave.” Dean corrected, holding out his pinky to Cas. Cas sat up from his huddle of blankets and took Dean’s pinky with his own. He started to sweat under all the blankets. 

“It’s a deal then.” Cas muttered, glancing to Dean’s emerald eyes. They glittered and danced with energy and excitement in the soft glow of the T-V. 

That was the moment Cas knew Dean was gonna be a problem. Cas’s parents aren’t exactly the most accepting people. Whenever the topic would come up in conversation they brushed over it quickly by saying things like “I’m ok with it but could never imagine my kids that way. I know Cas and Hannah will grow up to be perfectly normal adults.” They have a certain way they want their kids to grow up and a certain type of adult they want to see their kids be. Those quick comments from his parents hindered Cas greatly. He was always in terror of being outed by some school bullies or by Gabe slipping at a family dinner. It definitely was no help the relentless torment from Zach and Rapheal. Almost every day at school slurs and cruel nicknames would be thrown Cas’s way. Even with Dean backing him up and protecting him, Zach and Raph still wouldn’t stop. Although knowing Dean would beat them up at the drop of a hat, Cas never wanted him too. He never wanted to get Dean more involved than he should be, or get him in trouble. Since that first fateful day in third grade, Dean had always been there to protect Cas, ready to strike if Cas wanted him too, but Cas being the true pacifist he is never let Dean get farther than yelling threats and flipping them off. The two of them have always been there for each other, and always will be.

Castiel flutters his eyes closed, remembering the first -ahem- _dream_ he had about Dean. It was the night after their first gig as a band. Dean and Cas were freshmans while Gabe and Sam were still in middle school. They were able to play for the Lawrence Middle School fall festival. They set up on the tiny stage in the practically empty cafeteria and played all the songs they had been practicing for months. Cas watched as Dean belted the lyrics of each song into the crappy mics. He would bang his head back and forth, along with the beat of the song and shred (as much as he could) on his guitar. The colored lights made his green eyes sparkle and gleam with pure joy. The whole night Cas couldn’t take his eyes off of Dean. He carefully watched every small movement he made only occasionally looking away to check his hand was on the right chord. That night Cas couldn’t get Dean out of his head. He woke up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat and a tent in his pants. From that moment on the dreams barely stopped, and Cas felt guilty for even having them. Everyday when Dean would come sit at lunch with him he’d flush red across his cheeks and not make any eye contact with him. After a year and a half of yearning for his best friend, Cas had finally had enough and decided to tell Dean how he felt. To clarify he didn’t just have steamy dreams about the green eyed boy. There were some of him and Dean simply laying in a grassy field, watching the sun sink into the horizon and the stars come out of hiding; some of them cooking for each other on lazy sunday mornings. The extensive detail of his dreams about Dean were quite shocking. Ok some of them were daydreams during the middle of math class; Cas would stare at Dean, fabricating sweet scenarios of them together, of them as a couple, of Dean being his. Unluckily for Cas however, the day he decided to tell Dean how he felt, was the day he met Lisa Braeden. Lisa and Dean dated for a good two years before eventually splitting up. Cas never really got the extent of what happens but he noticed the way Dean would look at her every time they passed in the halls. From what Cas could figure out, it didn’t end too well, but he didn’t want to cross any boundaries. It was hard enough to see them cuddle together in the back booth at Harvelle’s Roadhouse, or have to listen to Dean explain the arousing exploits he and Lisa had; even harder to watch Dean throw himself away after they broke up. Listen to his sobbing voicemails and rambles. Watch him drown his feelings in bottle after bottle of whiskey. Cas buried himself in a song he was writing then. He would come home after school and immediately begin working on it. His only outlet for his pent up emotions was writing, and talking to Gabe but he wasn’t much help at all. Cas would write for hours about how he felt. Sometimes song lyrics, sometimes poems, sometimes just incoherent rambles about the way Dean smiles, or the way he looks when he sees Lisa in the halls, how Cas could only dream about Dean seeing him the way he saw Lisa. 

The time slowly ticks by as Cas wallows in his own pity. He never ever could get Dean out of his head. Cas drifts off to sleep dreaming of those sparkling emerald eyes. 

<<>><<>><<>><<>>

Dean isn’t at school the next day, which isn’t too unusual, he isn’t the most fond of school and often skips to go and drive around his car and splurge on burgers. 

“Hey Sam!” Cas called, jogging to catch up to the gangly kid. Only a sophomore and Sam is already almost six feet tall. He towers over almost everybody in school so he isn’t too hard to spot. 

“Hey Cas.”

“Are we still gonna have practice today? I mean I’m only asking cause Dean isn’t here so-”

“Oh yeah we’re uh, we’re canceling today.” Sam replied his smile dropping from his face, “Dean isn’t feeling too well so, uh yeah.” 

“Oh,” Cas nods in response, watching Sam’s eyes glint with sadness as he smiled slightly and left for class. 

Castiel slightly waves Sam goodbye and starts heading to his first class of the day before he is stopped by a hand grabbing his arm. Cas swivels around to find Zachariah looming over him, a devilish grin on his face. 

“I heard your little bodyguard isn’t here today.” Zach says, his leering eyes burned into Castiel’s gaze. Cas shook off Zach’s tight grasp on his arm and faced the larger man. 

“Would you just leave me alone.” Cas replied, glaring back into Zachariah’s gaze.

“Oooo looks like your balls finally dropped.”

“Can’t you just get away from me?”

“Listen here you little shit,” Zach said, pulling Cas by his collar to meet his gaze, “if it weren't for that goon who follows you everywhere, you’d be dead. Ya hear that, dead.” 

Cas clenched his jaw, keeping his piercing gaze connected with Zach’s. All of a sudden, Cas felt a saft hand grab onto his shoulder. 

“Heya Cas, how ya doing?” a female voice said, drawing Zach and Cas away from their staring contest. Zach’s eyes glinted with fear once he saw the short, red haired girl the voice came from. Charlie’s chilling gaze on him sent a small shiver down his spine. 

“Why don’t you do as my friend said and leave him alone?”

Zach looked back and forth between Cas and Charlie before shoving Cas and letting go of his collar. Cas brushed himself off and straightened his shirt before turning towards Charlie.

“Thanks charlie.” Cas sighed.

“No problem, always gotta look out for my fellow que-rsmf.” Charlie winked. 

“Charlie.” Cas said, pulling her aside with his hand over her mouth, “I’m not out yet so, hush hush about that ok?” Cas whispered.

“Oh shit I’m sorry I keep forgetting.” Charlie apologized, smacking her face with her hand. 

“It’s fine but, just remember, only at the roadhouse.” Cas reassures her. Charlie nods in response and the two of them head off to their next classes. 

Charlie is only a year younger than Cas. During her freshman year the whole school quickly learned not to mess with her. Charlie is one of the most talented hackers in probably the whole country. She can easily dig up your deepest darkest secret and spread it to the entire world with just a few clicks on her keyboard. Being openly gay in Kansas is definetley not the easiest thing and with Charlie’s excellent hacking skills she’s been able to give some protection to the other two out kids in their community (it’s been fairly easy given the only other openly queer kids at school are Charlie’s girlfriend Gilda and Gabe).

The school day went by fast and soon enough he was waiting out front for Gabe. He stood silently off to the side of the marble steps leading up to the red brick school. Cas looked over the parking lot at all the cars, most of which are run down four door toyotas, but there is always the occasional car that really stands out, such as Gabe’s van. Since he got his driver's license Gabe has been driving the most obnoxious van ever. Gabe drives an exact replica of the Scooby Doo van. The colors stand out against all the dull browns and blues of most cars. 

“Hey cassie you ready to go!” Gabe calls, twirling his keys on his fingers. 

Cas rolls his eyes and nods at his younger cousin. As the two of them make their way towards Gabe’s obnoxious van, a certain sleek black car catches Cas’s eye; Dean’s car. Dean has driven the same car his dad has for years, a black 76 Chevy Impala. Cas could recognize that car anywhere. Cas watches as Sam jogs up to the side door and hops in. Cas tries to wave to his best friend but Dean doesn respond. He sees him sitting in the driver's seat, the hood of his favorite sweatshirt pulled up over his head and a pair of dark sunglasses covering his eyes. Cas reluctantly loaded into the car and watched Dean and Sam drive off. 

“Why do you drive this thing.” Cas asked Gabe, running his eyes over the surprisingly comfortable interior. 

“Cause, I’ll never mistake someone's car for my own. And the inside is perfect for casual car hookups and camping.” 

“Oh god, Gabe.”

“Come on Cassie, it is super comfy in here.”

“Yeah, yeah it is.” Cas reluctantly agreed. 

“Hey, since practice was cancelled, wanna hang out?” Gabe asked while starting onto the road. 

“I’ve got a lot of work to finish up, so probably not today.”

“Aw come on Cassie, I’m not gonna let you pine over Dean all night. It’s unhealthy.”

“I’m not gonna pine over him all night.”

“Oh I see, you’re gonna go jack off.”

“GABE” Cas said, shoving him. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll take your word for it.”

“Thank you. Not everything I do is centered around Dean.”

“You sure Cassie? Cause i’ve seen some of those poems and, well they're pretty uh-”

“You read my journal!” 

“Come on you fell asleep and it was just staring at me sitting on your desk like that. Anyway it's not like I’m gonna spread all your dirty secrets.”

“Gabe, this is a serious breach of trust.”

“Eh, you’ll come crawling back to me to rant about how Dean looked at the latest baseball game.”

Cas opened his mouth to respond and deny Gabe’s claim but stopped. He reluctantly nodded his head, “Yeah you’re right.”

“HA! I knew it.”

“Shut up.” Cas rolled his eyes as a smile crept onto his face. Gabe had become the third person in his and Hannah’s little group. Gabe’s parents died a while back so his brothers take care of the family, but not everyone gets along. Micheal and Luci (Gabe’s eldest brothers) are constantly in a never ending fight over one thing or another. Balthazar is usually off somewhere at large parties getting stoned with a bunch of sex crazed lunatics, while Anna is trying to keep peace and keep Alfie away from the influences from his older brothers. Gabe’s only escape was to go with Hannah and Cas, now just cas while Hannah is in college. Now with Hannah gone, Alfie has been filing her spot. To Gabe, anything is better than his home. 

“Imma take Alfie out to the movies tonight I think, get us away from Luci and Micheal.”

“Good idea. I bet you two could come over tomorrow night if you still needed to get away.” 

“Thanks Cas, I’ll keep in touch with you.” Gabe winked at Cas and waved goodbye before driving off. Once inside Cas hung his bag on the hook, as usual, and grabbed a bottle of lemonade out of the fridge before running up to his room. Once there Cas slid into his desk chair and pulled out his phone. He swiftly opened it up to text Dean. 

_Hey, I hope you're feeling a bit better, I saw you picking up sam and tried to wave at you but I guess you didn’t see me. Happy to help if you need anything :)_

After Cas sent Dean the message he closed his phone and set it down on his desk, impatiently waiting for him to reply. What felt like minutes passed before Cas’s phone buzzed again. 

Dean had replied to Cas with a picture of a blue merle, tan and white Australian shepherd laying his head on Dean’s chest. The dog’s blue and brown eyes staring into the camera, an adorable pout across his face. Dean wore a black shirt with an AC/DC logo across the chest. 

**Don’t worry, Adam’s gonna take good care of me  
I could go for some of Cas’s famous chicken noodle soup? ;)**

Cas blushed at the response, slightly wishing he was in Adam’s place. (That’s definitely weird, wishing to be in a dog's place) Cas immediately responded and rushed downstairs. 

_Well, maybe you can be expecting some ;)_

**I sure hope so :)**

Cas smiled at his phone as he started to make his ‘famous’ chicken noodle soup. Cas wasn’t too much of a cook, he had learned from Aunt Jodie and a bit of baking from Gabe but he never really got too good. Dean loved his cooking though. Maybe it’s the thought that counts. Cas spends hours making a good batch of soup for Dean along with his favorite type of pecan pie before walking to Dean’s house. The Winchesters live about a mile away from Cas, but he decided he could go for the walk. Once at Dean’s, Cas ran up to their door and ringed the doorbell three times.  
There were some loud barks from Adam before loud clunking steps down the stairs before Dean finally opened the door. He wore a simple grey hoodie over top his AC/DC shirt, with black sweatpants and the cowboy hat socks Cas gave him last christmas. Dean had a terrible bruise stretching from his temple to underneath his eye and they were red and puffy, like he’d been crying.

“Dean!” Cas says, shocked at the glaring bruise on his best friend’s face, “Are you ok? What happened?”

“Oh, uh yeah I’m fine, heh” Dean started, clenching hi fist around his jacket pockets, “I uh, I fell down the stairs after practice, I’m all good. I just thought it be better to stay home cause my head hurt like shit this morning so.”

“Are you hungover?” 

“No cas.” Dean said, matter-of-factly.

Cas stared back at him, judging if he was telling the truth or not. He wanted to bug Dean more about how awful he looked but he knew Dean would just brush it off. After a moment, Cas decided to trust his statement and held the pie and soup out to Dean.

“Well I made these for you, and if you’d let me in I could share some with you?”

Dean let out a small laugh and smiled, letting the blue eyed boy into the house. Once in the Winchester’s small two story house, Cas was immediately attacked by Adam. Adam kept barking and trying to jump on Cas, signaling for him to pet him. Cas gave him a good scratch behind the ears before leaving to the kitchen to set down the soup and pie. Dean immediately opens up the pie to start eating but Cas stops him. 

“Dean, real food before sugar.”

“But caaaaaas.” Dean whines, his fork ready to dig into the pie dish.

“At least one bowl of soup first.” Cas scolds, fighting back a smile.

Dean sighs and pushes the pie away from him, sitting down at the small kitchen counter, waiting for Cas to give him a bowl of soup. Cas ladles a bowl for Dean before storing the rest in the janky fridge covered in pictures of Dean and Sam when they were little and Sam’s work.

“Mmmmm,” Dean smiles after taking a bite of soup, “You’re too good to me Cas.” 

Cas smiles, leaning on the counter across from Dean. Dean kept eating his soup as Adam tried to grab their attention. Cas casually stroked Adam’s head still staring at the freckled boy in front of him. Watching his every movement, as he continued to eat his soup. Cas watched the way Dean’s lips would purse to blow on the hot spoonful he held, how his eyes would relax after each bite and his posture slipped into slouching. How his shoulders relaxed at the warmth from his food. 

“Let me take care of the bruise for you.” Cas said to Dean, looking away from him with a blush spread across his face. 

“Cas you don’t have to do that.” Dean protested but it was too late, Cas had already soaked a wash rag in hot water and started ringing it out in the sink. Cas crossed the counter to where Dean was sitting and placed his hand on the unbruised side of his face. Cas’s light fingers brushed against Dean's soft, warm skin. He could feel his blush deepen as Dean stared his glowing green eyes into Cas’s. From this close up Cas could count the starscape of freckles on Dean’s face. Cas raised the warm towel up to Dean’s bruise and lightly applied pressure to his face. Dean flinched a bit but relaxed as Cas’s hand stayed. Cas could feel himself start sweating just sitting this close to Dean. Dean’s emerald eyes were fixed on Cas’s, a look of surprise and comfort on his face.

“Can I have some pie now.” Dean asked, his face wearing a look of innocence. Cas snapped out of his starstruck gaze and removed the warm cloth from Dean’s bruise. Dean waited for a response, staring at Cas.

“Uh yeah, course.” Cas smiled, blushing deeply. Dean grinned ear to ear and grabbed the fresh pecan pie, tearing off the cover and diggin in. Dean smiled as he ate each bite of his favorite food. 

“Cas, you truly are the best.”

“Heh, thanks.” Cas smiled, watching Dean get so lost in the flavors of the pie. The two sat for a while, talking and enjoying the fresh food before Cas decided to leave for home. Dean waved goodbye to his best friend and watched him walk in the direction of his home. The cool breeze washed away the burning hot flush across Cas’s face as he made his way home. The sun was slowly setting over the horizon all the way back. Cas gripped his phone in his sweater pocket, startled when it buzzed. It was from Dean. Dean had sent another picture of him and Adam, a large spill of soup on the floor that Adam was eating. Sam was in the background eating his own bowl while Dean cartoonishly smiled into the camera, displaying a thumbs up.

**Looks like everyone loves the soup! :D**

Cas smiled at his phone as he kept walking. He smiled at the face dDean was making, his eyes glinting with mischief and excitement. His orange freckles looked gorgeous even in the crappy lighting and Cas noticed a hint of blush on his cheeks. Dean’s rough stubble accenting his tan skin. Cas’s breath slowed as a wistful smile creeped across his face. 

Then it hit him. 

Castiel Novak is hopelessly in love with Dean Winchester.


	2. This is so much harder than it used to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Castiel's newfound revelation he finds himself struggling to keep cool around his best friend and man he has been in love with for years, and it doesn't help having an annoying cousin try and set you both up every ten seconds. (aka gabriel being a menace and Cas being flustered by everything Dean does and surprisingly no one notices.....or do they)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was reading through the first chapter and I apologize for it but also thank everyone for reading! Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out and sorry for it being kinda short but thanks again to everyone who read it!

Now Cas had never really realized he was in love with Dean. He merely brushed off his attraction to the freckled boy as a really, really, strong crush. Oh boy was he wrong. 

Castiel practically sprinted all the way to his house. He skipped over it though and banged on the front door to Gabe’s place instead. Loud yells and bangs came from the inside as Cas switched to ringing the doorbell over and over again.

“WILL SOMEONE GO ANSWER THE GODDAMN DOOR!?” Cas heard a male voice yell from inside. 

“I got it, I got it.” Gabe answered back, sprinting down the stairs with a heavy foot, causing even more of a ruckus. 

Gabe forcefully swung the door open, smiling when he saw Cas.

“Thank god you’re here. Mike and Luci are at each other’s thoughts again and Anna is trying to act like nothings happening- wha- what's going on?” Gabe asked, noticing how out of breath his cousin is.

Cas took a few heaving breaths before replying. “Kinda panicking, need to talk, just realized something life-ruining, so sleepover tonight?”

Gabe eagerly nodded his head before running back upstairs. Cas patiently waited, peering into the Archangel household. Bags and clothes were strewn across their living room, a pile of dishes piled high in the sink. Part of Cas wished he could leave dishes in the sink like that. Soon enough Gabe came sprinting back down the stairs holding two duffle bags, his younger brother following close behind. 

“Didn’t think you’d have a problem with Alfie tagging along, we can leave him alone with a movie or something.”

“Hey,” Alfie said, glaring at his older brother.

“Kid, Cassie and I are gonna be talking about grown up stuff.” Gabe replied sarcastically condescending. 

“Dude, I’m thirteen, not clueless.” 

Gabe shrugged and turned back to Cas. The three of them ran back to Cas’s house, barging in pretty quickly. Alfie immediately plopped onto the couch and turned on the tv, swiping through Disney plus for his favorite movie: Hercules. But he’ll settle for the bad Percy Jackson movies. Alfie and Cas got pretty close through the years. They both share a love for greek mythology and musicals so when Cas was stuck with babysitting duty, the two of them read the Percy Jackson books and watched classic musicals, belting each word. 

“Are you sure you’re ok by yourself?” Cas asked, turning back to look at Alfie.

“Yeah, go spill your guts to Gabe. But when you two are done I expect that we all play cards.”

Cas laughs and heads up the stairs to join Gabe who sprinted up ahead, eager to hear Cas’s ‘gossip’. 

“Come on Cassie tell meeeeeee.” Gabe begged, practically bouncing with excitement.

“Well,” Cas started, “I went over to Dean’s house to drop off some soup and pie cause Sam told me he wasn’t feeling well and since he cooks most of the time I thought I’d help him out and make some food for him.”

“Yeeeaaahhh”

“And so we talked a bit and he ate half the pie already and when I was walking home he sent me this picture.” Cas continued, displaying Dean’s text message to his cousin.

“And?”

“Well I laughed a bit but then I smiled like that smile you get when you look at someone you really really care about.”

“Oh my god.”

“And I think I’m in love with Dean.”

“You’re in love with Dean” Gabe said over Cas. 

Cas slowly nodded his head.

“Holy shit Cassie this is big news.” 

“I know.” Cas whispered in reply. 

“And you’re planning on leaving for Cali.”

“I mean only if I get in.”

“Still dude,” Gabe replies, staring down at Cas’s cool blue bedsheets. He stays silent for a while scanning Cas and his room, deeply lost in thought. 

Cas shifts under Gabe’s uncomfortable gaze. He fidgets a bit with his sleeves, picking at threads that spring out of his sweaters sleeve cuffs and pulling the cuffs over his hands. 

“What are we gonna do about this?” Gabe asks, suddenly breaking the silence. 

“I-uh” Cas starts, staring down at his hands, furrowing his brow. “I don’t know.” 

A few more moments of silence.

“I mean the only logical thing to do is wait it out and soon enough I’ll get over him.” 

“Orrrrr, you can ask him out.”

“No,” Cas barks, “He’s not into guys.”

“And how do you know that?”

“I- well I mean he dated Lisa and-”

“There is such a thing as bisexual.”

“Yeah I know but-”

“Stop being so pessimistic.” Gabe cuts Cas off. “I say keep an open mind and a look out for any signals.”

“Easy for you to say. You can actually understand human emotions.” Cas snarkily remarked. 

Gabe deadpan stared at his older cousin before slowly lowering his head and bringing his hand up to cover his face.

“God, why are you so fucking weird.” 

Cas simply stared at him.

Gabe rolled his eyes and sprawled out onto Cas’s bed, Cas joining by sitting on the end. 

“One question tho cassie boy,” Gabe asks, “Why is this information life-ruining?”

“Cause,” Cas started, lying back next to his cousin, “He's my best friend and- I don’t wanna risk losing him.”

“Dude, you're planning on going to california.” Gabe reminds him. 

“Yeah, but- I don’t know, I guess I thought I could keep in touch or leave long enough for my ‘crush’ to phase out.”

“Mhmmmm” Gabe replied, a bit skeptical of what Cas really had in mind.

“I guess I thought maybe in some world Dean would go with me.”

“I knew it.”

“Shut up.” Cas said, pushing his cousin off the bed with a slight, playful smile. “Can we just go downstairs and play cards with Aflie? Not talk about this for a while.”

“Sure thing dude.” Gabe replied, hopping up off the floor and heading down the twisty, not really spiral, staircase. 

The three of them proceeded to play with Cas’s hidden deck of Cards Against Humanity and throughout the game, Gabe kept making jokes referencing Cas and Dean’s sexual life (although there isn’t one). 

They all ended up passed out in the living room, the tv running some movie on netflix. Each of them were sprawled out on a different furniture piece. Alfie curled himself up into the dark blue chair in the corner of the living room while Cas and Gabe slept opposite each other on the couch. 

<<>><<>><<>><<>>

The weekend soon ended and Castiel was back to his normal week routine, waking up bright and early to have Gabe pick him up in the atrocious van. He would speed through the halls, avoiding everyone except the occasional wave from Charlie or Garth, and even sometimes Dean’s wrestling friend Benny. Days were normal, even though Cas had felt like his whole world was turned upside down. He didn’t like to be alone with Dean too often, afraid something might slip and his best friend would abandon him or worse, turn him down. It was terrible having to sit at lunch with Gabe, wiggling his eyebrows and glancing between Cas and Dean everytime he got the chance. His comical expressions were always met from a piercing glare. With this new found revelation it’s much harder for Cas not to stare wistfully in Dean’s direction, he is constantly self-conscious of his surroundings and how he’s acting around the green eyed boy. It’s just not fair with Dean being...well Dean. His beautiful tanned skin dotted with thousands and thousands of freckles. His green eyes shining in even the dullest of lights. The way he sings during their band practices after school, the way he dances along to almost every song he hears. Castiel’s attraction to his best friend is getting harder and harder to hide. 

Days and then weeks pass of this same routine, practicing everyday and Cas nearly having a heat stroke from blush every time he’s close to Dean. If the four boys didn’t have band practice they could be found at Harvelle’s Roadhouse. The run-down old bar was turned into a ‘diner’ once Ellen had her daughter Jo. Ellen, being a single mom, needed to be able to have Jo in the bar she owned, so for legal reasons, the bar became a diner. (but in reality it is just a bar). Since Jo and Sam are the same age, the two grew up together. Ellen helped out a bunch when Sam was a little baby but her and John’s relationship dwindled as the kids got older. They barely speak anymore, but Ellen is always watching out for Dean and Sam. And Gabe and Cas since they joined the group oh so long ago in third grade. Ellen may be hard on them all, especially Jo, Sam and Dean, but she loves all of them, and even will let them drink occasionally once they were 15. 

It was one of these days at the roadhouse. Bobby was off on a business trip and Jodi had to work the late shift so the four boys hung at the roadhouse. Jo sulked in the corner, hunched over three textbooks trying to figure out her advanced math homework, Ellen skillfully poured drinks and waited tables, rushing throughout the ‘diner’, and Cas, Dean, Sam and Gabe were all huddled in their same booth, the one nestled far in the back of the bar. Gabe was at it again, hopped up on six glasses of his favorite liquid sugar and three full sized candy bars. He was practically bouncing off the walls, jittering in his spot next to Sam, constantly messing with the boy next to him. Sam sat there staring ahead, the dark circles under his eyes more accentuated with the look of pure annoyance and ‘i'm so done’ on his face. Dean slowly sipped on his soda, chatting with everyone a bit. Cas could feel himself heating up just sitting next to Dean. He watched the way that Dean smiled when he talked, how his eyes looked in the dim, dusky lighting of the bar, how his lips looked as he sipped on the smooth opening of the bottle. Cas watched in awe as Dean licked his lips after sipping from his soda. Cas’s face flushed immediately as he felt blood run south at the sight. He quickly looked away to see Gabe desperately trying to put braids in Sam’s shaggy hair. 

“So y’all.” Dean started, saving Sammy from Gabe’s perpetual pleas, “My wrestling tournament’s this weekend and I was wondering if y’all wanted to come?”

Cas looked up in a bit of surprise. Dean never really asked for his friends to come to his tournaments. Often they would just happen and no one would know about it. Occasionally Sam would let it slip that Dean had one, causing Gabe and Cas to show up in support. Dean wasn’t opposed to them coming but he never had explicitly asked for them to come. 

“Just,” Dean cleared his throat, “It’s the uhm, it's the state championship this weekend and I’d like it if y’all were there.” Dean’s cheeks flushed a bit red under his mass of freckles as he glanced towards Cas, then back to the bottle he was peeling the label off of. 

Cas looked over to Gabe who wore a smug smile on his face. Gabe winked at Cas then quickly answered before Cas could realize what he was doing. 

“Well of course Dean-o, wouldn’t want to miss out on u winning!” 

“Don’t jinx me Gabe.” Dean laughed, “Sammy and I are staying with the team at the motel but if y’all didn’t want to stay I bet Jodi would be willing to let y'all catch a ride if needed.” 

“Oh Dean-o.” Gabe sighed, shaking his head, “I’ve got the best ride there is, got a great open space for sleeping if needed and the best paint job ever.”

“Yeah, space to sleep for short people.” Sam remarked.

“Hey, mention my height again moose and I’ll steal your kneecaps!” Gabe retorted, slapping Sam’s chest with the back of his hand. 

Sam rolled his eyes at Gabe. 

“Guy’s it’s in Wichita this year so you might wanna book a room or something instead of planning on driving back that night.” Dean said. 

“Tell me what motel you’re staying at and I’ll book Cassie and I a room.” Gabe piped up, winking at Cas. 

The four of them hung out a while longer before heading to their respective homes for the night. While laying awake, trying to drift off to sleep, Cas quickly became scared of what Gabe had planned for the tournament, finally registering the winks Gabe threw at him and the whole conversation. 

“Oh fuck.” Cas whispered into his pillow. 

<<>><<>><<>><<>>

After school that Friday Gabe picked up Cas so they could head to Wichita for Dean’s tournament. The drive was long and barely tolerable. Cas sat most of the way his head leaned against the cool glass of the window, his earbuds plugged into an old walkman he’d stolen from his dad. Once thing Cas and Dean both loved was old music and old technology (well Cas was the one who loved tech but that’s besides the point). For his birthday since sixth grade Dean has given Cas a new cassette tape of Dean’s favorite songs. They mostly consist of 70’s classic rock but occasionally Dean will throw in one of all 40’s jazz or 50’s rock and roll. Gabe speed through the highways, passing cars and trees and empty fields of nothing but yellow grass. The car ride was mostly uneventful, but when they arrived Gabe’s plan slowly unfolded. Cas unloaded his duffle from Gabe’s van and followed his cousin to the front desk of the motel. 

“Imma text Dean to let him know we’re here.” 

“Ask what room he’s in.” Gabe responded, ringing the bell on the front desk.

“Uh, why?” Cas asked, afraid of Gabe’s response.

“Just do it ok.” Gabe replied. Cas complied, hoping Dean wouldn’t think it was too weird. 

A red haired woman came up to the front desk, greeting Gabe. 

“Hello, are you checking into a room?” she asked.

“As a matter of fact yes we are. I believe I have booked a room under the name Gabriel Milton?”

The woman typed on the computer a bit before furrowing her brow and looking back at Gabe.

“I’m very sorry sir but it appears there isn’t a reservation under that name. Woul-”

“Ohhh noooooo, welp Cassie did ya hear that, I must’ve forgot to book us a room. Guess we should ask those Winchesters if we could bunk with them for a night.” Gabe cut off the lady, making an overdramatic display. Gabe kept talking over the woman at the front desk as he rushed he and Cas out of the lobby. 

“Gabe.” Cas scowled, “We could just get a room right now.”

“She told me they’re all booked up.” Gabe grinned smugly, “Now tell me what room the boys are in.”

“Gabe what the hell are you planning.”

“Tell me the room bee-boy.”

Cas glared at his younger cousin and responded through gritted teeth. It was late and Cas really wanted to wash the greasy mop of hair he had so he complied to Gabriel’s terrible plan. 

Gabe knocked on the door and Dean answered. He was shirtless with a pair of dark sweatpants on. His hair was wet and small water droplets still glistened on his tanned skin. A white towel was slung over the back of his neck.

Cas could feel flush creep up across his neck and cheeks at the sight of freshly showered and shirtless Dean. 

“Hey guys.” Dean said, a little skeptical of why he was opening the door to his best friends, “Didn’t you guys book a room?”

“Nah, must’ve forgotten to,” Gabe quickly jumped in, “the lady told me she was all booked up when we arrived so we thought we could crash with you and Samsquantch for the night.” Gabe smiled. 

Dean raised his eyebrows at Gabe’s story but Sam quickly piped up.

“We’ve had so many sleepovers this won’t be that different.” Sam called from inside the room. Dean nodded wearing an expression that could only be read as ‘touche’ and stepped aside to let in Gabe and Cas. Cas set down his bag next to the tv stand as Gabe claimed a spot of the bed Sam was lying on. 

“I guess we’ve figured out bed arrangements.” Sam mumbled, barely looking up from his laptop. 

Cas glared at his cousin at the sudden realization of Gabe’s plan. Gabe wanted to get Dean and Cas in the same bed. Gabe caught his glare and winked in Cas’s direction. 

“Well.” Cas started, “Mind if I take a shower? My hair’s super greasy and it's bugging me.”

“Yeah course,” Dean responded, flopping down onto the empty bed and clicking on the tiny television. Cas readily escaped to the bathroom as he watched Dean’s muscles move so smoothly as he sat drying his hair with the towel he previously had around his neck. 

Cas needed to take a very very cold shower. 

<<>><<>>

Once Castiel emerged from the tiny hotel bathroom he found that Gabe and Sam were missing. Dean still sat in the same position as before, this time in boxer shorts and an old AC/DC shirt instead of sweatpants. 

“Hey, where’d Gabe and Sam go?” Cas asked, milling over to his bag to pull out pajamas. 

“I think Gabe said supply run? He said not to wait up for them.” Dean responded.

“What the hell is open, it's like one am.” 

“Exactly what I said, but Gabe insisted.”

“Hmph.” Cas glared into his duffle bag, realizing the extent to Gabriel’s plan. 

Cas quickly got changed and found his place sitting next to Dean on the uncomfortable mattress. Castiel watched as Dean yawned, his eyes squinting as he stretched. Dean had dark circles under his eyes much like Sam’s and his eyes had a bit of a glazed look over them.

“You look tired.” Cas remarked. 

“Mmmm.”

“You should get some rest cause you wanna do well tomorrow.”

Dean nodded.

“I don’t mind if you wanna sleep, I can go to bed too.”

Dean looked down to his lap and smiled before readjusting so he was lying on his side under the covers facing Cas. Cas shifted as well, positioning so he was looking back at the green eyed boy. Something felt off about Dean at that moment. Castiel still doesn’t truly know how he knew or what he felt but something wasn’t right. 

Ever since they first met, Castiel always had this sense about Dean. No matter what he could always tell when something was bothering him, when something was really digging into him. Cas may not know exactly what, but he could always tell. Cas usually isn't one who understands human emotion too much, he is pretty clueless to everyone else but when it comes to Dean, he can always tell. And with the boys knowing each other for so long, Cas has learned a few things along the way. Now no matter who is asking, Dean's first answer to the question 'are you okay?' will always be 'yes, I'm fine', or some variation of that. It usually takes a few tries before anyone can get Dean to open up but there are some days where he will definitely not budge. Cas had to learn this lesson the hard way. 

One day in seventh grade, Dean showed up to school sporting a massive bruise on his eye. He was obviously upset that day, and being who he his Cas wanted to make sure his best friend was okay. After Dean brushed him off multiple times and told him it was nothing, Cas kept digging and asking cause he knew it wasn't just nothing. That's when he snapped. Dean screamed at the blue eyed boy to leave him alone, and to stop talking about him. Dean was so pissed he didn't talk to Cas for a week. Dean never really was one for talking out his emotions, he gets nervous and choked up really easily so often his apologies came in letter or song lyric form.That was probably the worst fight of their friendship and that is when Cas learned not to bug Dean into talking. It took a few tries for Cas to really understand when Dean needed to talk and when he really didn't want to talk but eventually he figured it out and it hasn't failed him yet. 

“Dean.” He whispered, “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah.” Dean said, his eyes closed. 

“Dean.” Cas said again. 

“I’m just nervous about tomorrow, that’s all.” 

“You sure that’s all?”

“Yeah, Cas, I’m sure.” Dean says, rolling over away from Cas. Castiel watched as Dean’s muscles moved, as his chest rose and fell as he breathed. The room was silent all for the occasional shift of blankets and covers. Cas could feel Dean’s warmth lying next to him. He could feel as Dean shifted onto his stomach to hug the pillow cradling his head. Feel as Dean’s legs brushed ever so slightly against his own. Cas silently watched Dean delve deeper into the peacefulness of slumber. As Dean’s breath slowed Cas slowed too, their movement in sync, slow, calm breaths. As Cas silently gazed at his best friend drifting off to sleep he watched Dean’s furrowed brow and tensed muscles relax into the calming, peaceful state of slumber. This is the most peaceful Cas has seen Dean look in weeks. Initially he didn’t notice Dean’s change in behavior, being too preoccupied with trying not to die from heat stroke, but lying here next to Dean, it all became so much more apparent. Dean had been pretty...off the past weeks. Constantly looking around and checking surroundings, jumping slightly at little things. And he wasn’t sleeping. Whenever Dean doesn’t sleep, he stops eating too. He slowly loses his usual appetite down to barely one meal a day and by then is running off of caffeine.

“Dean.” Cas whispered, realizing how Dean had been slowly decreasing his intake of burgers.

“Go to sleep Cas.”

“Sorry I didn’t notice before now.”

“Notice what?” Dean responded, groggily opening his eyes to look at Cas.

“Your tell tale signs of not sleeping.”

“Cas seriously, nothing is going on,” Dean started, rolling onto his side away from cas. “you gotta stop worrying about me.” His voice faltered a bit on his last words.

Cas nudged himself closer to his best friend, reaching his arm out towards the freckled boy. All the voices in Cas’s head told him to stop and that he’ll fuck everything up if he did this, but for some reason, Cas continued. He reached over and wrapped his nimble fingers over the top of Dean’s hand, lacing their fingers together. Cas’s pulse was racing, his face heating up with every minute that passed. The only thing Cas could hear was his own breathing and the thumping of his heart.

Dean isn’t really one for physical touch. Sure he’d casually sock his friends in the arm or sling his arm around Cas’s shoulders, but anything more was reserved for girlfriends. Cas wasn’t a girlfriend, and Dean usually would shake off any comforting hand or hug, but then and there. Dean didn’t refuse.

Cas knew something wasn't right, contrary to what Dean wants him to believe. But Dean didn’t refuse the warmth of Castiel’s hand curling around his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I was gonna add more but I wanted to get a chapter out and this felt like a good stopping point. Sorry for having it mostly be filler I promise I'm working towards something. Thank you again for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> heh so i know i am not the best with beginings and this isn't the best but i really hope y'all liked it enough to want more! Thank y'all for reading!


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